I want to be an Artist

Drawing and being creative was one of the only things I was actually good at without having to try too hard. At a very young age my Dad asked if I wanted to be an artist, it was the only thing I wanted to do. Even though I attended art college for art & design & then went onto do photography & business management, I actually never managed to complete one qualification. Due to dire straight circumstances in my younger years I had to stop educating myself & get a job. And in getting a job I lost my dream & listened to everyone else telling me to be realistic, get a proper job & stop dreaming about becoming an artist. My dream faded and I started to follow the script of life, I had to stand on my own 2 feet, pay my own way & become independent at the age of 18. I followed this path, but I always had doubt, I asked myself many a time, is this it !!!!! Is this all there is, working, dating, going out, looking for a partner, settling down & doing all the normal stuff !!! Holy cow, this made me determined not to follow the script.

My first video camers

At 21yrs old I started a wedding video business, just me, myself & a very big video camera. Just like this one. With a few business cards, telling my friends & the added benefit of knowing a good photographer my business launched it’s way into filming weddings. A new exciting and creative way to earn my money and work for myself. Having no previous film experience or education it was a matter of getting on with the job at hand, learning by doing and making an incredible about of mistakes, which is the best way for me to learn many a lesson. This business venture lasted 3 years, then I went through a divorce & moved as far away as possible to another country. Like one does !!!

I never stopped being creative, but it was now more of a hobby really and the fact that I thought I just wasn’t good enough to be an artist. I put my dream yet again to the back of my mind. I started to follow the script of life as we know it again this time in another country and in another language, just to spice it up a bit.

It took me another 10 years, 5 house moves, 1 failed relationship, 1 true love & the birth of my first son to push me into remembering my dream and working towards becoming an artist. Now being an artist with no money is very difficult, you basically can’t afford paint or paint brushes for that matter, so the process was a long one with some very big obstacles on the way.

I painted and painted and painted, really big, oil paintings on large canvases. I had a small art studio & I had a plan, to be an artist, to this day I still have all the very big pieces of art work I made over 14 years ago, you see being an artist is one thing, selling your work & earning your keep is another. So meanwhile back in the land of reality, I needed to pay my rent, feed my baby & buy material for my art work. This is where I started to plan seriously, I wrote a business plan and took the plunge to start my own business, along with a €10,000 loan from a very nice bank manager from the Volksbank in Berlin (Thank you for believing in me). This turn around in my life happened because I was working towards something much bigger than just you, I had a family, an amazing son and another baby on the way. I had the drive & the determination to earn my living doing something creative.9e203d5a46786cd9e10f27bf314da70d

I opened a Photography Studio in Berlin and specialised in pregnancy photography. I actually studied photography for just 1 year so trial and error were at my door again. Juggling a new business, a 3yr old & a baby was challenging, fortunately my life partner stepped in and balanced out the work load. My photography was a creative move towards being an artist. Long story short I ran & managed my photography studio for 5yrs before moving onto another country, with another language, 2 children, my life partner & no job. I took time out of work & became a full-time Mum, best job in the world and the most difficult. I still stayed creative and set up an English workshop for kids, we did lots of creativity & cooking together, all in English. During this time I also supported and helped my now husband Paul to set up a business of his own.

Skipping to the chase, another 8 years later & wiser, with more determination than ever, fire in my heart and passion in my soul I am for the first time in my life becoming what I wanted to be as a child. This is my blog, this is my life, this is my art and this is all made possible because I never gave up on becoming an artist. In 2018 I will host my very first exhibition called ‘Nailed It’ I plan on selling all my artwork.

Never give up on your dreams

Thank You to my absolute darlings,  Paul, Jake & Ray you guys are my everything.

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